Thought I would post an update on the M family for those who still stop by now and then. :)
The girls finished up school on June 2; Claire got student of the month for May and Loren and Emily each received some academic awards. I am so proud of them! It's hard to believe that Loren is now a 6th grader. I remember 6th grade like it was yesterday... how it felt to have all the "little kids" looking up to you, liking a boy who liked someone else, wishing I were popular like some of the other girls, crying when I got an A minus instead of an A on the test... thankfully my daughter is less of a perfectionist than I was (am) and I have more confidence in her ability to stand on her own than I did.
When I was growing up, we were "health food nuts" - before health food was a little more mainstream like it is now - I remember in 6th grade, sitting at the lunch table and all the kids going "EEEEWWWWW! GROSS!!!!" at the food I was eating. It bothered me so much that I stopped eating lunch at school - I would eat it while I walked home. I feel sad for that little girl now, because she was so worried about what everyone else thought that she couldn't enjoy just being herself.
Now as a mom, I am making the same choice for my kids - feeding them organic foods, restricting sugar, giving them sandwiches with 12 grain bread, etc. It was amazing how making that choice brought out all those old feelings of not "belonging" and being weird, because I really struggled with asking my girls not to eat the candy or sugary snacks at school, or sending them with Rice Dream instead of chocolate milk. I didn't want them to feel different. But imagine my wonder and surprise when my girls completely embraced this way of life and made it their own. They brought their candy, cookies, and cupcakes home every day instead of eating them. And when the kids at school would ask them why they weren't eating it, they would actually tell them WHY... "Sugar isn't good for my body." 4 of Loren's classmates were so inspired by her resolve that they quit eating sugar too!
My girls are better than I was at their age. They are willing to be different and even glad to be different, and because of that, they are leaders.
Owen
Owen has been doing really well with his language. It's so funny - he talks just like Grant now. :) I am not worried at all about delays; he has almost caught up to his brother and he communicates constantly. It's been delightful seeing his personality emerging more and more. He is definitely very sensitive; one stern look, or even just gentle correction, and he gets somber and teary-eyed. And yet I can see that he feels secure in his family now. He has relaxed so much the last month. He's a happy kid and very even-keeled, and while he does have a stubborn streak, most of the time he is more than happy to share, or let Grant take charge of their playtime. He is very tenderhearted too. Whenever one of the other kids gets hurt, he becomes very concerned and says, "Are you ok? Are you ok?" It's precious.
A couple of days ago Owen picked me my first bouquet. He had watched the girls bring me dandelions or other wildflowers on occasion and always seemed very interested in how I kept them in a vase. For the first time, he picked a handful of clover blossoms and brought them to me. I gave him a big hug and he was so proud of himself.
The past month has also brought a very relaxed, wonderful feeling of normalcy. I wish I could describe it with words adequately... life just didn't feel right since our trip to China. There was tension in our house. I could not get past the feeling of babysitting Owen, like he was just temporarily with us. I found him very overwhelming at times, because he came to us with baggage - however mild, it was still baggage. But as we've watched him blossom and unfold, like a flower, and see him become more secure and "part of us", it has begun to feel like he's truly always been with us. I always wondered when I would feel that way, or IF I would ever feel that way. It took 4 months for me - I know for some it is instantaneous, and for others it takes longer. It's just such a blessing for me to feel the same compassion for Owen that I do for Loren, Emily, Claire and Grant... to enjoy him the same, to feel just as happy to see him after an absence. That is a gift of God.
We also had another minor miracle yesterday. I took the kids to Subway, and I was sitting across from Owen at our own table - the other kids were at a table next to us. I could tell Owen enjoyed having me all to himself for lunch!! He was in such a silly, happy mood eating his sandwich. I don't know why, but it popped into my head to ask Owen about one of his closest friends and "big brother" from Datong. We had asked him about Jacob (Chinese name pronounced Quay Quay, I'm spelling that wrong I'm sure) several times before but he never responded with even a flicker of recognition or emotion. And I KNOW these two were close, because I have a lot of pictures of the two of them together. I had even showed him a picture of Quay Quay several times before, and he had just looked away as if he had no clue who it was.
Anyways, at lunch I said, "Owen, do you remember Quay Quay?" And it was AMAZING how he reacted. His eyes sparkled with recognition, he smiled hugely, sat up, and said, "Yeah, QUAY QUAY!" And then he proceeded to do this silly dance thing with his arms. I laughed and said, "Was Quay Quay funny?" And he said, "Yeah! Quay Quay funny! Do this..." and he did the dance thing again. I was absolutely amazed and thought that was a very encouraging sign that he feels secure with us and is able to acknowledge those memories.
I've also noticed that he seems less obsessed with Asian people. He used to stare and stare if he saw an Asian person... now he seems to show no preference in who he looks at. It's very interesting to me, and makes me wonder if he now feels more American than Chinese.
Owen LOVES to eat... as does his brother... they are eating us out of house and home!! He really loves chicken, breads, potatoes and any type of pasta; and he loves spaghetti! He is an outdoorsy boy and loves being outside as much as possible. His favorite things to do outside are ride bikes, dig in the dirt, and go to the park. He LOVES slides but is not as fond of swings. He is also a fantastic climber.
We've not had a lot of issues with Owen's special need, despite how visible it is. I'm truly amazed. I am sure we will deal with it more when he is in school... but then again, maybe it won't be as difficult as I am bracing myself for it to be. We've only had maybe 4 instances of a child asking "What's wrong with his hand?" and they were very young, so it was all completely innocent. We've had no problems with kids pointing, staring, laughing, etc, and we've had him in public with other children a LOT. I think part of it is just that he is able to do everything the other kids can do, despite his "little hand". He always manages to find a way to do even more difficult things. I'm hoping this resilience carries him through his older years.
The other day I was asking Owen where all of his body parts were, and I said, "Where's your fingers?" He held up his hand with fingers on it, smiled, and said, "Fingers!" Then he looked at his little hand and got a bewildered look on his face (as if he had never noticed), held his little hand out to me and said, "Fingers??" I touched his hand and said, "Owen has little fingers on this hand, see? It's ok!" I probably could have said something more profound, but that was the first thing that came to mind! I just found it interesting that he seems to not notice most of the time. Even Grant has never said a single thing about Owen's hand. Never once.
Thanks for all your prayers for us as we've continued to adjust. We're not totally there yet, but it's worlds different than it was 2 months ago. I'm really enjoying having all the kids home the last couple of days. I've had my moments for sure, but for the most part they are all getting along really well. :)
Photography
I have been doing some praying & seeking the last month or so about doing photography as a "business". I felt very settled in my mind about NOT, but I'm quickly realizing that we have a lot we have to do to our house this summer and not enough money to do it... and summers are expensive... I can't believe how much camps & classes cost when you do it times 3! (Can't imagine times 5!!) I'm getting worried about our house painting project too. Andy has been transferred to sales & account management at his company, which means more hours and some weekend work... plus the kids need to be somewhere or doing something while we're painting... it just gets so complicated. And I'm not relishing the thought of being 2 stories up on a rickety ladder with a paint bucket. It really should be done with scaffolding or some type of lift, which we don't have.
All that to say, I'm wondering if photography might help us pay to have it done - I think I'm just scared to get my feet wet is all. It's a whole different ball game taking pictures of other people than it is my own kids, flowers and still life! Maybe once I started doing it and got more comfortable, it would be ok. It's just that initial jumping in that's hard. I would appreciate prayers as I muddle through all this. Right now I am half wishing it could just stay a creative outlet, but at the same time, the extra income would help and it's an ideal job where I could just work part time and set my own hours.
Random...
Anybody noticed that band-aid boxes have braille on them?? Pretty cool.
I really love artichokes dipped in lemon butter. Yum.
My canopy bed finally has a canopy... thanks to my mom who gave me a long sheer thingie that happens to fit PERFECT... as if it were MADE for my bed! I will take a pic of it soon. I love how it softened up my room!
I am off to take photos today of a pair of cowboy boots. They are very willing subjects.
Have you laid in the grass, under a tree lately? and watched the leaves rustle against the sky? I did the other day. It reminded me of childhood. I have been slowing my life down a lot lately. This morning I sat on the deck with my coffee and read an old copy of Heidi. Just 20 minutes of quiet, and I felt so refreshed.
Thrifty Thursday
Hit the thift shop on Tuesday with my membership card (50% off) and got a whole wardrobe of Vera Wang, Abercrombie, Forever 21, and Gap for about $50. Cha-ching! Also found a cream colored cotton quilt for my bed for $29 (normally $150) at Elder-Beerman yesterday.
How have you been thrifty lately?
